I met my wife online. Through email. If you think falling in love with someone in person is hard, try doing it via hotmail. I actually went to college with her best friend and she was the one who electronically introduced us in 2003. One day, she was like, “Neil, can you reach out to my friend in South Carolina? I think you two would have great conversations.” So, I did. I emailed her, and she emailed me back. Hotmail, turned to MSN Messenger. MSN Messenger, turned into talking on the phone, talking on the phone turned into Webcam, and then Webcam turned into actually meeting in person for the first time in New York City on March 14th, 2004, but this story isn’t about that. This story is about the word “Love.”
So, I’m sitting in front of my computer staring at a blinking cursor, fingers on the keys, thinking “Should I type it?” I mean, I’ve been talking with Megan online for about a year now and I think she knows how I feel, but we’ve never actually said it to each other. I searched for hours looking for the perfect E-card and found the one that would finally say the words that I wanted to say. I could see it now. She would sit at her computer, click excitedly on my email, and as soon as it opened up, she would hear the sweet, sweet sounds of Michael Buble singing his hit song, “That’s All”
“I can only give you love that lasts forever
And a promise to be near each time you call
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone
That’s all
That’s all”
And then she would cry, hard, unrelenting tears of joy.
That’s what I envisioned.
I called my buddy Mark to ask him what I should do. Should I send this card? and he said, “Yeah man, do it! and make sure to write a note after, and end it with “Love, Neil.”
Not, “From: Neil”, not “Sincerely, Neil”…
“Love, Neil”
And see what she writes back.”
So, I write my heartfelt message and end by typing the words, “Love, Neil” and here I am, hovering my finger over the mouse, just one left-click away from pressing “Send.” My heart was beating out of my chest, and I could feel all kinds of doubt about what I’m about to do. I just stare at the screen thinking, this could change everything, and then in a moment of clarity, I just jump in. “click” – Wooosh – The email is sent. The countdown to a response starts and for better or for worse, I made a move.
1 hour…2 hours…3 hours…still no response. I’m just pacing and thoughts race through my mind, “What the hell was I thinking? This was way too early to say “Love!” Are you crazy? She’s probably blocking you now.” and just then, I hear “ding” from the computer and move the mouse to wake it up from the aquarium screensaver. There it is. In my inbox. An email from Megan RE: That’s All. This is it. Does she love me back? What is she going to say? I sit down, take a deep breath and point my mouse arrow over the email and click it to open. I read it.
My first call was to my buddy Mark to let him know that I received a response. He picked up right away.
“So…what did she say?”
I read the message back to him,
“Dear Neilio, thank you for the e-card. blah blah blah and then she ended the message with…Megan”
No “Love”. Not even “Sincerely”, or “From”…
Just “Megan”.
The good news is, we got married a year later, but I remind her about that e-card every once and awhile and she always reminds me that she felt like it was a copout. She taught me a very important lesson. If you’re going to say “I Love You” to someone, first of all, actually say “I Love You” and second of all, don’t say it in an e-card, say it in person when you can look them in the eyes and really mean it.
But what a tough way to find out.
Thank you